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(In 2007, I donated peripheral blood stem cells to a 21 year old stranger.  Read about my journey.)

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Wednesday
Mar192014

Wordless Wednesday: truth

 

A picture says a thousand words, right?

This isn't a typical shot that I would share online.  It's not a glossy, happy shot of me looking my thinnest and most care-free surrounded by loved ones.  heh

It IS, however, arguably the rawest shot of me taken lately.  I actually paused and said "whoa" when I stumbled across it today.

Raw.

In all ways - including the fact that I didn't alter it or use a filter.  I had no make up on (obviously).  Clearly got snapped in a moment where my current emotional state was bubbling to the surface... all while hiding under a hat with the sun behind me.

Not sure if I look mad? Or sad? Or just plain exhausted?

I'll go ahead and answer that.

Yes.

All of the above.

So serious.

Things are almost unbearably overwhelming at times over here.  For reasons I don't speak about publicly anymore in this here online space.

I'm OK.  Things will improve to alright in the near future.  I hope.  If not, I'll be so damn busy with my high school softball season and a trip to Spain in July that I won't have time to reflect on my emotional state;-)

This shot captured one still moment of truth.

What would your truth look like right now?

Tuesday
Jan212014

NH based America's Team to play softball in Spain

From July 14-22, 2014, America’s Team New Hampshire will be participating in an exciting and challenging tour of Spain, stopping to play softball games in the cities of: Madrid, Valencia and Barcelona. The team is comprised of NH based varsity athletes that possess a good attitude, strong academics, excellent character and a passion for the game of softball.

Why am I sharing this here at Mommycosm?

I have the honor of being the head coach for this team.  Yes, I'm still coaching at the high school.  In fact, 5 of my players are now on the roster.

My travel bucket list puts Spain just under my top 5 choices: Australia, Italy, Ireland, Bali & Egypt.  The opportunity isn't something that comes around every day, so I embraced it.  Recruiting has been interesting.  It was fairly easy at first to find a core team.  We're still looking to round out the roster with a couple of players.  You know, just in case someone gets sick or injured traveling or needs a break in the hot, summer in Spain weather.  Some of our players have never flown on an airplane before... that should be fun and interesting.

We're working on securing sponsors.  The cost per player is around $4k and we are hoping to reduce their out-of-pocket expenses as much as possible.  If you are a brand or a company seeking unique advertising opportunities, please check out our Sponsor page.  You can follow along our journey on our website.

America's Team has a motto of "changing lives through sports".  What an amazing opportunity this to do just that.

Tuesday
Nov192013

Deep thoughts and happy places

One of my happy places right now is while I am at the yoga class I teach 2x a week.  It's the only place where the people around me actually listen to me.  Imagine everyone peacefully, willingly moving in sync following your cues.  It's almost a magical experience for this (often) solo parenting mom to 2 kids and 3 dogs... all of whom NEVER listen to me.  Like, ever.  At the end of class, I always read a quote or poem.  Typically it is something that speaks to me personally, like this one I read yesterday.

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. ~ Helen Keller

I haven't been able to put my own feelings into coherant thoughts and, therefore, don't have a lot of my own words to share lately.  Maybe it's partially because I'm tired of hearing myself speak at home and not be heard.  ehem.  It explains, to some degree, the cobwebs forming here at Mommycosm.

Here are a few more quotes that currently resonate with me as well.

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Thomas Jefferson

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. ~Unknown

I used to think that the worst thing in life is the end up all alone.  It's not.  The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone. ~ Robin Williams

There's no such thing as being too busy, if you want something you will make time for it. - unknown

Any quotes resonate with you right now?  Where is your happy place?

Thursday
Nov142013

Throwback Thursday: 2005 #tbt

 

Came across this pic today when clearing out an old laptop that I'm selling to a friend.

Trippy... and perfect to share on what everyone on Facebook seems to be calling Throwback Thursday.

The pic was taken a few months after Charlie was born and Kacie was just 3 years old beginning pre-school.

Blink and flash forward to today.

Kacie is now an 11 year old (going on 17).  She's in Middle School and is plotting world domination and planning the house she will have when she finally leaves us.  I think she has a countdown clock on her iPhone ticking away the seconds until that very day.

*sigh*

Charlie is an 8 year old version of Absent Minded Professor.  The kid is so stinking smart and we're pretty certain he has a photographic memory.  For reals.  Scary.  Problem is his mind is so full of facts, figures and learning new concepts that he literally forgets to flush the damn toilet.  He's turning this Mom into a Nutty Professor.

*sigh*

They appear to actually like eachother back then, don't they?  Must have been before Charlie learned to speak, because once that started, his mere breath annoys his big sister.  He's given up trying to please her and get her to like him - now it's his life's mission to annoy the living heck out of her.

These aren't the easiest of times here at Mommycosm.  Seeing this throwback pic reminds me that this too shall pass.  Almost too quickly.  Trying to find peace within the fresh talk, messy spaces and squabbles.  Trying to teach them all I can before it's time for them to be let loose in the world.

The deception about time is that sometimes it appears endless.  The illusion about life is that sometimes we feel so VERY alone.  Sometimes looking back actually gives me hope for the future.  I survived then.  I will survive now.  Pretty sure I'm not alone and that a number of my friends/readers feel the same some days.  Right??

Friday
Sep202013

On Mom Guilt and cloning

Conversation yesterday between me and my 8 year old 3rd grader.

Charlie: Mommy, are you chaperoning my field trip tomorrow?

Me: No, honey.  I can't this time.

Charlie: But whyyyyy?

Me: I teach yoga on Fridays until 10am and your trip leaves at 8:30am.  Can't be in two places at once.

*thoughtful pause*

Charlie: I'm going to invent a cloning gun.  Then I'll shoot you with it and you can go to both.

Me: *giggle* Yep, I believe you could one day, baby.  I really do.

Oh, my heart.  Mom Guilt.  She's a nasty little bitch, no?