I have a decision to make and I would like a little advice.
As my regular readers already know, I coach high school softball. I have been coaching at my high school for the last 7 seasons. I am the JV coach and an assistant varsity coach. My teams have only lost 2 games over the last 2 seasons and the varsity team won the state championship this year for the first time in our school's history. I coached every one of the girls on the championship team. I took over coaching infield at post-season practices and was 1st base coach throughout the tournament.
I pray to God that the head coach never reads this because I truly like her as a person and don't want to hurt her feelings. I'm going to be brutally honest here. The team won the championship despite her coaching. She has a ton of experience and knows the rules better than anyone that I know. The team was ridiculously talented. Unfortunately, the girls don't respond to her. They don't respect her. She lacks the ability to pull them together as a team. She doesn't exude confidence and lacks the ability to make the tough decisions while in the heat of the moment.
The girls were horrified that she was nominated by one of the local newspapers as "Coach of the Year". I had a few phone calls from players and parents to apologize to me. I played it up as not a big deal...that my only goal when starting coaching was to help bring a championship to the school, and I accomplished that. I knew it and the girls knew it. On many levels, that really is enough. Only my husband and my mom know the truth about how crushed I was the day it came out in the paper. It infuriates me when someone gets credit for something that they didn't truly earn.
For the record, she knows that she is better suited for a non-varsity position. She was the JV coach for 8 years and claims that she had a lot more fun. She always comes to me frustrated by something that one of the girls said or did...and I advise her how to handle it. She even asked me to switch to varsity after this next season. We discussed this two years ago. Basically, she wants to see the talent that we have through and give my niece a chance to graduate before I would take over.
Herein lies my problem. I have zero desire this season to coach under her. There is a very, very good possibility that we can win the championship again, but it's going to take a ton of selfless effort on my part. I'm not sure that I have it in me to do it again. I literally spoke with her before and after each and every one of her games last season. I gave her advice on the line up and how to approach certain personalities to get them to be better team players. This was in addition to solely coaching the JV Team to a 10-2 season.
Do I stay put and keep my mouth shut for another season? Can I do that again? That leads me to the advice part...
I did not attend the local public school in my hometown. My parents sent me to a private, Catholic high school, the one where I currently coach. My mother is the town clerk, tax collector, justice of the peace, school board secretary, blah, blah, blah in my hometown. The principal at the high school was a family friend while I was growing up, although I personally haven't seen him for years.
My hometown high school is in a smaller division and have S-U-C-K-E-D the last few seasons, to say the least. I think they have won a total of 2 games in the last 3-4 seasons, ouch. To give a football analogy...my team is the Patriots, and theirs is the Miami Dolphins. Yes, they are that bad.
Well, they are looking for a new varsity coach this season. I'm almost positive I would get the position if I applied. My stats alone make me very marketable. My mom has threatened to talk to the principal in a casual conversation if I don't hurry up and apply. I put together my stats and an email about 3 weeks ago. My husband seems supportive. I just can't hit the send button.
My thoughts:
It would definitely be a challenge. I would have to suffer through about 5 years of building the program from the bottom up. I would need to get involved with the rec department and help with the town program in order to get quality players training early.
I'm a tough coach. I demand discipline and respect and focus on building the girls as a team as much as teaching them the skills of softball. It is not an easy task to get 12 14-18 year old girls to get along every day for 2 months...and to focus solely on softball while on the field.
The private high school enables me to demand respect. I get away with a lot...right down to not allowing them to wear tank tops to practice. Long story, but it's part of the focus issue...the boy's lacrosse team has practice right behind us. Also a respect issue...the is simply no need to dress like a whore while playing a sport...they get plenty of opportunities to dress that way otherwise;) I'm not completely unreasonable. There was one time during a heat spell when we were the only team on the field and I allowed them to wear their tank tops and sports bras.
Also, would the public school support the zero drinking/smoking policy? I know that all schools HAVE an athletic contract...but some simply look the other way. I will not. I refuse to.
On the positive side, the hometown school pays almost twice as much as I currently make or will make at my high school. It's still pennies per hour when you consider all the time invested, but it's still a factor worth mentioning.
I just don't know how I feel, but I need to figure it out before I get home from Aruba in 2 weeks. Am I just making up excuses to stay at my high school? Do I really want to walk away from another chance at a championship? Am I up for a challenge to take over such crappy program?
Oh, and for those of you who just arrived here and haven't figured it out...I'm also the mom to 5 year old Princess and 2 year old BamBam. Softball season is always difficult to juggle with my family. But I've managed it while pregnant, while breastfeeding...at least the kids are portable now.
The hometown school is half the distance from my high school...but it would require more of a time commitment if I want to do it right.
I'm hoping that if I take the time to put this into a post, my true feelings might come out. I've read and re-read what I wrote and still don't have an answer.
Please help. Does it sound to you like I'm leaning towards one way over the other? AGHH. I'm usually such a decisive person. I'm not sure about this one.
THE Mommy
OMG...I hit the [SEND] button this time.
Wish me luck. Thanks for your comments :)
Reader Comments (4)
I think you should go for the public high school coaching position. When the five years are up and your team has taken the championship, then you'll know it was worth it. Also, sit down with the principal and let him/her know your stand on smoking/dress/etc. Let him/her know you don't tolerate it at all.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck!
I agree with the Coal Miner's Granddaughter. Don't exclude yourself, you can always say no after you get an offer.
Coaching softball is your passion that is all about challenging yourself (and others,) motivation, discipline and respect. We both know that it has never been about the money.
Selfless efforts?? You've been banking enough to grant you some good karma for many years to come.
If you stay where you are, you'll always be operating in the varsity coaches' shadow. If you let it go and it comes back to you, then you'll know that it's yours.
You've found your calling. Carpe Diem.
Coaching is a reward in itself and many would love to be involved in an exciting campaign like the one of coaching (whether it is as an assistant or otherwise) a contender team (let alone a non contender). I am coaching 7/8 basketball and I have coached and been an assistant under different rec programs as my daughters entered rec. I love it and will probably continue until parents figure out I am a terrible coach.
I say go for the HS gig. Here's why. Everyone whose opinion you care about (including the other coach) knows who the real power behind the team is. Also, closer and more money. That's an easy one. Then, you have the chance to pull a "bad news bears." That's always rewarding. Take the challenge. I think you'll be happy you did. If anything it'll reinforce the fact that you're just that much better a coach when they start winning games!