THE Mommy
LOVE being a coach.
Really don’t like mean parents.
It comes with the gig.
Unreasonable
Expectations frustrate me
Big fish in small pond
You may have been good
Playing on summer rec team
Welcome to High School
I hate to cut girls
It is inevitable
It is part of life
Please don’t send mommy
To fight your battles in life
It’s time to cut cord.
---
We ended softball tryouts last night and had to cut eight girls from the program. Some weren’t too bad, but there just wasn’t a spot for them. We have such a competetive team this year. We won the state championship last year and only graduated 2 1/2 starters. JV has only lost 2 games in the last 2 seasons. We had 51 girls come out for 24 spots. Luckily, the freshmen unable to earn a spot on JV and varsity are put on a freshmen only team. That forces us to cut sophomores and juniors.
I dread the day of trouts. There’s usually one each year who questions why they were cut. I’m OK with that. It's a fair to question.
It’s the psycho mommy in the parking lot ranting like a mad 2 year old that I didn’t appreciate. The exchange of emails that followed was a bit more adult and appropriate.
Please shoot me if I ever become THAT parent. The one who just threw a tantrum in front of their child and sped out of the parking lot with tires squealing…all because said child did not earn a spot on the team. Great example on how to handle the disappointments in life.
SO, I have a question. If you were cut from a team and the coach offered you the opportunity to be the team manager AND to practice with said team to increase your skills, would you take it as an insult? Or would you see it for the opportunity it is…a great way to show the coaches you are dedicated to the sport and a willingness to learn from them. She literally told me that she plays better in game situations than in practice and it would be a waste of her time.
What is wrong with the youth of today? They feel so damn entitled. It really bothers me. How do I raise my kids NOT to develop that attitude?
Reader Comments (8)
Eek. Yeah I fear high school - preschool can be intimidating enough. Great 'kus and happy Friday!
Good question. I think it would depend on the way the coach worded that option. I might accept if it was explained that the coach thought I had talent and would like me to work a bit so I could be on the team for next year. But I would not want to feel like it was a pity spot. Know what I mean?
Great 'ku! Good luck with your new team!
[MommyCosm]
Kathryn, thanks for stopping by. The offer definitely was not given in the spirit of pity and I think I communicated that well. There is competition on my team even for the manager spot...and to offer the ability to participate in practice was generous. It's not an offer I make every year. AND since this post, Mommy told me her daughter is too good for a JV position even...they're extremely delusional...and Mommy has an anger issue.
Not just the youth, but many people in America today have entitlement issues. I don't get it either.
Oh, and? Weird Google keyword searches that found my blog? Try "Where's my cat's clitoris?" I kid you not.
ah, i see the other side of this. NOT of the tantruming mother, because there is NO excuse for that in any circumstances.
but -- several weeks into the season, my stepdaughter was told she wasn't going to play much, if at all. now, please understand, she is a senior and has played jv for the past 3 years. she had no business being put on the varsity team. we all know she isn't that good. but seniors can't play jv. instead of cutting her early on (which would have been the kindest thing to do under the circumstances), she was allowed to be made a member of the team and believe she would get to play.
then, somehow, and we're not sure why, the coach brought up some jv girls ... and SHE GAVE UP HER JERSEY!!!
she also was offered an opportunity to help the coach. she is choosing to be PART of the team in some way, but she is crushed beyond measure that she will never play again.
the heartbreak is difficult to watch.
sigh. sorry to have hijacked your comments section... lol
[MommyCosm]
Janet, sounds like a crappy coach. That's horrible and I would never do that to a player. I have taken seniors with no chance of being a starter, but we communicate individually with each player to let them know their role for the season. They know if they are given more of a support role and can choose to accept it or not. I would never take a shirt away from someone who earned it. That just plain sucks. I see so many horrible coaches. There really should be a certification program before people are allowed to coach.
I think parents continue to tell their kids they deserve everything without showing them how to work for it & NEVER LETTING THEM FAIL! They want to be friends to their children and not parents. This is what turns into entitlement. I was a teacher, so I totally know what you mean about the hoity parents. And, do they ever stop? I read a post at Burgh Baby where she said a mother called her to complain about her daughter not being hired after an interview. Talk about never scary.
[MommyCosm]
AMEN. I've been coaching for over 10 years now and this was the worst experience I've had with a parent...with the exception of my SIL yelling at me when my niece was on my team...but THAT's another whole story! Hopefully being on this side of the deal will keep me from turning into one of the Sport Parent Mafia. Check back in about 10 years to see how I'm doing!
I meant to say talk about never cutting the cord & scary. Sorry bout that.
First, the manager thing. I totally would do it. At worst, I could learn some skills. At best, I'd show the rest of the team how good I really was. Win-win. And about your question of not raising your kids to not turn out that like that? Lead by example. That's the only way. When they see how you deal with life's disappointments, it's like learning by osmosis. Nothing you say or overtly teach them will ever be more effective than just living my the same standards as you would have your kids live.
As the wife of a former coach (coached girls basketball for 11) you come to realize that parents suck....their child should have made the team, varsity of course, jv team is an insult... their child should be starting, their child should be playing the majority of the game and holy crap when you take them out of the game....it takes a strong person to be a good coach and from what I've heard, you are a strong person