I recently was asked to review The Total Transformation Program: A Parent's Program for Managing Challenging Behaviors in Children, by James Lehman MSW.
I must say, The Program isn't the prettiest schwag I've recieved through MommyCosm, but it is probably the one that will change my life the most.
I was first impressed by the introduction DVD. Mr. Lehman stresses that most parents are GOOD parents. They *ahem* WE just lack the skills to be effective parents. His approach to train parents on how to teach their kids to behave like respectable little beings interests me. These skills are not something that we are born with, people, it's something that we need to learn. If we never learned them from our parents, or they from theirs, it's not our fault. It's also not too late to learn. I'd like to provide a sub-sub-title to The Program: The User's Manual For Kids That They Never Gave You.
I hate to compare kids to dogs, but I couldn't help but think of my Australian Cattle Dog, Jasper, when listening to the Intro. We got Jasper as a puppy and found out I was pregnant shortly afterwards. (Yep, we didn't kill the dog, so we went for the kid.) Jasper was a rambunctious puppy with way too much energy, as most Cattle Dogs are by nature. He was nipping our ankles as he would a cow and thought my arms were chew toys. He was always getting himself into trouble and we were in way over our heads.
We hired a trainer, you know, to fix the dog so that he would listen to us and behave. The trainer did take him away to "Boot Camp" and taught him all sorts of fabulous commands. However, here's the catch. He wouldn't give him back to us until he then trained US on how we should act around the dog. Our behavior was actually contributing to the problem. It was a big AH HA moment. I think the fact that I'm not walking around with stumps for arms shows the effectiveness of that approach. Jasper is a great dog and a respected and loved member of our family.
I'm not saying we should all send our kids to Boot Camp...although at times that is tempting;) I think that the idea of training the parent to teach their children life skills is a completely reasonable approach to dealing with the challenging times. Teaching kids the basics can be hard enough: walking, talking, eating, etc. BUT, those challenging times, you know, the ones when you are in the middle of the grocery store and your kids are throwing tantrums and you give in to them just to get them to SHUT UP already... I mean, geesh, people are looking and might think you're a bad mother...not that THAT has ever happened to me. Just sayin'. Well, those are the times when most parents I know feel the most inept. I look forward to learning some new parenting skills.
The Total Transformation Program is a series of 7 audio lessons. As recommended by Mr. Lehman, I will listen to one lesson a week. I will then share with you what I have learned from the lesson. If you click on any of the links on MommyCosm, you qualify for a free trial.
The first lesson is titled: Why Does My Child Act This Way
Stay tuned for my review next week. If you just can't wait that long, check out the little audio widget thingy in my right sidebar. It's a One Minute Transformation and I the ones I've listened to are pretty interesting. You can also click on the advertisement to find out more information.
Disclaimer: I was sent this Program for free and I will receive an affiliate commission if you click on any of the the links and purchase The Total Transformation Program. That being said, I will never promote anything on MommyCosm that I truly wouldn't use myself or recommend to my closest friends.