Total Transformation Program: Lesson One: Why Does My Child Act This Way
Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 08:19AM 
When I was first sent this program, I questioned whether or not it would truly benefit my family. James Lehman speaks a lot about children with severe behavioral issues. I have two very young children, ages six and three. My kids have not developed a critical level of bad behavior. They have their occasional tantrums and outburst, but that’s normal for kids this age, right?
By the time I listened to the entire first lesson, I realized how fortunate I am to have found this program at this stage in their lives. Now is the time when a foundation is being built. How the heck do you think severe behavioral issues begin?! Not overnight when they turn 10. Bad behavior is learned slowly over time. I recognized a number of situations that have already occurred in my kids’ short lives when our reaction quite possibly could have fed into their bad behavior.
After this first lesson, I think The Total Transformation Program is valuable for 2 types of parents:
1) Parents with kids who are already displaying rude, obnoxious, disrespectful, abusive and/or defiant behavior.
2) Parents with young children who want to learn the skills now in order to avoid bad behavior escalating as their child gets older. This is where I feel I fit.
This first disk delves into THE WHY and THE HOW.
Why do kids act rude, obnoxious, disrespectful, abusive and/or defiant?
How can parents train their kids to change their behavior?
Mr. Lehman believes that acting out is due to compensatory behavior. When a person has feelings of anxiety, anger, fear, a sense of powerlessness or inadequacy AND they don’t know how to deal with such feelings, they compensate for this behavior with inappropriate actions. He believes you need to define the behavior in order to define a solution. Bad behavior is treatable and he offers ways to train kids to be accountable for their behavior and to solve their problems without acting out.
In this first lesson, he outlines 16 characteristics of kids with behavioral problems. I’m sure that most of us have moments when one or more of these characteristics could apply to us. However, when a person never learns to use appropriate behavior, they will chronically use these techniques to cope when they are acting out. My favorite one was the false apology. This is one of my pet peeves as previously noted.
I really can’t do it justice without actually transcribing the entire audio lesson. If you want to know more, feel free to ask me via comments or email (themommy at mommycosm dot com), or just buy The Total Transformation Program yourself so that we can talk about it and swap stories.
Stay tuned for next week’s lesson: Why My Child Won’t Listen To Me
(Gee, I wonder if this one can be applied to husbands too, you think!?!)
Related Posts:
The Total Transformation Program
Disclaimer: I was sent this program for free and I will receive an affiliate commission if you click on any of the the links and purchase The Total Transformation Program. That being said, I will never promote anything on MommyCosm that I truly wouldn't use myself or recommend to my closest friends.
Reader Comments (2)
i looked into this, but coulnt afford it. :
[Ashlie- Mommycosm]
Kelli- Stay tuned, because once I am finished reviewing it, I will give it away to one of my readers.
It is very pricey. You can find the program listed on eBay for about half the retail price.
I checked the Total Transformation Program out from the library. That's another option that is definitely within the budget. The drawback is you have to return it, LOL!