Chaos theory
Monday, October 5, 2009 at 12:05PM Before we settled down into marriage and had kids, Jake and I used to do a lot of active things: hiking, kayaking, rock climbing, white water rafting, etc. I used to joke that trouble had a way of finding me. Nothing too serious ever happened. But, I theorized that if I was involved, enough chaos would ensue to end up with a good story to tell after all was said and done.
Over the years, our adventures have evolved away from us -vs- nature and more into parenting adventures: us -vs- the kids. Thus the reason why we stopped at 2 kids...we didn't want to be outnumbered. I've found that my chaos theory holds true - which provides a lot of the blog fodder here in Mommycosm.
Would you like a for instance? I'll share a couple from our BC (before children) days:
1) Parasailing in Aruba
My first trip ever to Aruba was with my aunt and uncle. (They planted the seed that eventually grew into us building a house down there.)
I was in my mid-20s and going through a major crossroads. I hadn't yet met my now-husband. In fact, I had been living with my college boyfriend and we broke up. (See my 100 things link above for how fabulous of an experience it was living with him, NOT) I was on my own for the first time in my life - trying to find myself. So, they took me down to Aruba with them on a vacation they already planned for themselves.
My uncle knows that I can't resist a double dog dare. Despite my fear of heights, somehow he convinced me to try parasailing. I remember them saying "you'll be up for about 10 minutes...you'll see the whole island...then you'll be right back down...piece of cake."
Yeah. Not so much. I was up for my 10 minutes. I LOVED IT. It was gorgeous. Fabulous.
Then they started to pull me back in and...
The winch that was wheeling me back in - *SNAP* It broke.
Although, I didn't know this while I was up there. I just knew that I went up higher and my uncle was waving to me. I wasn't amused. Pretty sure I flipped him the bird. I was up there for about 20 more minutes, clueless about why-in-God's-name they weren't pulling me back in.
They warned my uncle that it was probably getting hot up there AND I was going to get nauseated.
Yeah, right about that time, I started swearing. Like a sailor. Actually, it's quite possible that the words coming out of my mouth could have made a sailor blush. I wanted DOWN. I started wondering if my uncle had paid extra for them to mess with me. Not cool.
Just when they were conspiring to just let the rope go and drop me into the ocean...miraculously, they fixed the winch.
When I finally got back into the boat, I was too sick to say much other than "I hate you" to my uncle - but I did shoot laser-beam-shooting evil eyes to everyone for a while.
Funny now. Then? Not so much.
2) White Water Rafting in Maine
Again, BC, my now-husband-then-boyfriend and I used to go on an annual white water rafting trip with about 100 of our closest friends. It was a BLAST. We would all stay the weekend at a campground.
In our third year, we were in the cool boat. The one with the event planner. The cocky boat. We were ready to have some fun.
It was a release weekend and the river was much higher than I'd ever experienced. The guides warn you that if you ever dump the boat. you should count to 10, get your feet down river and allow your head to get above water. By the end of your 10 count, they'll have you out.
We'd had spills before - and they ended up on video at the end of the day. Everyone would hoot and holler and it was a lot of fun. No biggie.
This time? Not so much.
We were nearly the last boat to enter The Exterminator. Somehow, we hit the rock wall and went into the rapid sideways. We were exterminated.
I was obviously wacked in the head with a T-bar. I had the black eye and nearly-broken nose to prove it later. I think I was knocked silly for a bit.
By the time I was above water and attempting to get my feet in front of me - I was near panicked. I had breathed in a LOT of water. I tried to calm down and count to 10, but that's impossible when your lungs are on fire.
I remember passing Jake down a ways in the rapids and told him I needed help. He wasn't able to reach me and was struggling himself.
I ended up getting pulled in by the last boat. It was over 100 yards from the initial dump. WAY, WAY longer than counting to 10. WAY, WAY longer.
They pulled me into the boat and everyone looked scared. They were saying how brave we were, blah, blah, blah. I leaned over and puked over the edge.
We all survived, although the event planner ended up going to the hospital b/c he got a huge gash on his leg. We finished out the day even - more because we were afraid if we didn't, we wouldn't ever want to go again. The whole get back on the horse theory.
When we were back in the lodge safe and dry the end of the day, we watched the video. The crowd was silent. The guides were even wincing. They admitted it was the worst dump they had seen that summer...and for some, ever.
I couldn't drink water for years after.
And, we've never gone back.
Kinda ironic that I almost drowned someplace called The Exterminator.
So...
Anyone wanna go on an adventure with me?
I'm thinking of going hiking in Death Valley National Park. Kidding.
Can you see why I've never gone skydiving?
Reader Comments (4)
Which is why, even though I really love the notion of sky diving - I'm pretty sure I never will.
Yikes! I would love to go white water rafting, but dude. That must have been horrible!
Aaaand, this is why I'll never take you scuba diving. ;)
I started to think how we really should be more outdoorsy but now I think I'm pretty much cured from that idea, thanks.