Couldn't sleep, so I watched the sun rise today.  It was accidental, really.  The dogs saw me restless in bed and started doing the potty dance, so I got up to let them out.  And there it was...big, bright and stunning.

I stood there in awe of its greatness.  I tried to soak in some of its energy.  Ahhhh...another day begins.

Then reality crashed down and I sighed.  Because this day brings more uncertainty than the day before.  I need to keep reminding myself that uncertainty isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Life is an adventure and if we have faith, we will be led down the right path.  Very zen, but for the most part I believe it.

The reason for such profound thoughts before 7am on a Saturday?  A Saturday when my kids are away on a sleepover and I could've slept until noon without interruption.  But for some reason couldn't.  AHEM.

You see, HR 4213 has not seen much progress.  Now that I understand the process a bit more, I know that it will not pass in time to save my family.  At least I am less ignorant, lol.

Hindsight might show us that going All In wasn't the best decision.  We had a plan and stuck to it, for the most part.  We tried to live by the stricter budget.  With the exception of going a little overboard at Christmas, we did OK.

What we didn't plan out well was the exit strategy if January 1st rolled around and it didn't work out.  We were SO sure it would work out.  We're still sure that the company will thrive eventually and our investment piece will be worthwhile.  That's what makes this all so hard to swallow.

It's the job with a paying salary piece that probably isn't going to work out...we simply cannot afford to go without a paycheck for any length of time.  Let the job search begin.  The problem is...we have NO idea where a job search is going to take us...or if it can even save us in time.

Before you get all excited about our original Plan B...I talked about Aruba being Plan B.  It very well could be.  My husband applied for working papers over a year ago.  Unfortunately, when the government changed hands this fall, all paperwork was put on hold.  He has his resume out there, hoping someone will sponsor him.  No bites yet.

SO, plan B is not a viable option...right now.  Never really came up with a Plan C.

We're at this crazy crossroads of uncertainty.  It's familiar and new all at the same time.  Familiar because we survived 6 months in the past with him doing contract work until a salaried position was offered.  He has a Master's degree and is intelligent and resourceful.

New because the economy is worse than 2 years ago when he was unemployed.  More qualified people are out of work.  He's going to have a harder time because he is overqualified for many positions.  He's willing to take a step back in order to support the family...but not sure if companies will be willing to hire someone with almost TOO much experience.  Crazy.

I'm trying to have faith that this will all work out.  I'm practically shouting Show us what we're supposed to be doing...please!  

Maybe the answer will present itself in time.  Until then, I'm living one day at a time in the Land of Uncertainty.  For the record, this new Land is nowhere near as wonderful as Aruba.  Just so you know.