Warning: I'm about to do a blogging no no... explain for my absence.
It's hard for me to believe that I haven't written anything here in 2 1/2 weeks. Please don't take my silence as a sign that I have nothing left to say or nothing is going on over here in the Cosm. To say I've been busy is a bit of an exaggeration and not really a valid excuse for abandoning my bit of the online world that has served me well the past 5 years both personally and professionally.
Sure. I'm busy.
My husband has been traveling for work. A lot. Solo parenting is hard, but not in the ways I anticipated. I have a lot going on inside my head right now. Struggling a bit. Working things out.
I'm seeking to find peace and balance in my life. Being careful to take care of me, which isn't always an easy thing for me. 2 kids. 2 dogs. Husband. House. Work. Their needs often come first.
Maybe it's 40 peeking at me from around the corner. Is this what a midlife crisis looks like?
We've lived in our current house for 8 1/2 years. That's the longest I've lived anywhere in my life and DAMN we have accumulated a lot of stuff. Excess is weighing me down. We donated bags upon bags of clothes and other stuff to a local thrift store. Took countless bags of stuff to the dump. Cleaned out closets. Re-designed the living room. Starting to make a dent. Peace and order can be elusive in a modern family, but I'm determined to find it.
Trying to control what I can. Let go of that which I cannot.
Listening to my inner voice a lot. Connecting. Making sure I spend time doing things I want to do. Letting go of the feeling that I have to compromise myself in order to make everyone else happy. Because if I'm not happy? It starts a vicious cycle and everyone around me feeds on that energy and before you know it we're all unhappy. Which doesn't make me any happier, you know?
So, the current state of the Cosm?
I'm not writing here when I feel obligated. I will write when I am inspired. When I need to. When I want to. I'm sure it will happen again - just not sure I will be the same me that has been here - especially not the last couple of years. I anticipate less sponsored content and more writing. Back to the old days. Finding my voice again.
Hope you're still around when that happens;-)