Entries in Haiku Friday (13)
Why, oh, why this week?
Don’t the dogs realize that
I’m crazy busy?!
Not a good idea
To roll in some poop
And come in the house.
On that note, BamBam
Could you please not wet the bed
Just one night this week.
‘cuz doing laundry
was not on my to do list
on top of all else!
And Princess, to you:
SOFT POOP HAPPENS! It just does.
Please stop freaking out.
You cannot stay home.
Enough with the drama, girl.
You are not that sick.
I have one question
For you mommies and daddies:
Can I fire myself?!
No, really, can I?
I could really use time off.
I am SO beyond.
-----
You know, it never fails. The 2 or 3 weeks a year when I way over schedule myself, all hell seems to break loose in MommyCosm. Maybe it’s the energy that I’m giving off? I did wake up with dread on Monday morning knowing how incredibly difficult it was going to be to pull off all that was scheduled. So far, I've managed, but it's the extra crap (pun intended) that I can't deal with.
So, yes, Princess got diarrhea at school and freaked out. She was home 2 ½ days this week. Each dog decided it was time for the semi-annual bath. Chester got poop stuck to his butt and rubbed it all over my carpet and back porch. Just now, Jasper thought it should be his turn, so he rolled in poop. He's tied up outside waiting for my husband to get home because I just don't have time to deal with it!! BamBam wet various beds 3 nights this week. I swear he holds it all in and just lets loose because I've woken up to check him as late as 5am. He’s wearing size 7 pull ups to bed. Any suggestions on how to keep him dry, please do tell. I’m at a complete loss.
I am failing miserably at my job this week. I’d like a job performance review because I think I need to be fired. I know it. Everyone around me knows it. It’s time we all face it. I'm not qualified for my current job responsibilities.
I’d settle for a suspension with pay. After all, as a stay-at-home mom, I should be making $117,000, right?
Leave a Comment
3 AM Vomit
What a NASTY wake up call
My poor, sick BamBam
Here we go again
Do we go to hospital?
Is it just a bug?
Or his appendix?
Still has the swollen lymph nodes
Not sure what to do
--
(Follow the Chronicals of BamBam's mysterious sickness here)
Two kids and two dogs
Add Mommy, the softball coach
Dad busy with work
Mix in sick Princess
and chronically sick BamBam
plus a dog with cough
GET? Dirty dishes
House looks like a bomb went off
Laundry piling up
A tired Mommy
A Daddy picking up slack
Kids? Out. Of. Control
Told Mother-in-law:
I’m going for cigarettes
I don’t even smoke.
My God, make it stop!
This ugly white stuff, no more.
Check the calendar…
HELLO, it is spring!
I hate you Mother Nature
No more damn snow, ‘k?
----
Yep, it's April 4th and that evil white stuff is falling from the sky, AGAIN!
As my regular readers know, I am a high school softball coach. We had our first outdoor practice outside yesterday. It was sunny and in the 50's. Mother Nature definitely does not want us to forget about the bitch of a winter she threw our way this year, so she decided to drop the temps back into the 30's today and let the snow fall. GRRRRR!
Softball is canceled for today and tomorrow. The kid's playset in the back yard is covered again. At least it is hiding the winter's worth of dog poop in the back yard...that was a bit unsightly for the one day we could actually see bare ground. See, I'm trying to look at the bright side of things. I'm trying.
LOVE being a coach.
Really don’t like mean parents.
It comes with the gig.
Unreasonable
Expectations frustrate me
Big fish in small pond
You may have been good
Playing on summer rec team
Welcome to High School
I hate to cut girls
It is inevitable
It is part of life
Please don’t send mommy
To fight your battles in life
It’s time to cut cord.
---
We ended softball tryouts last night and had to cut eight girls from the program. Some weren’t too bad, but there just wasn’t a spot for them. We have such a competetive team this year. We won the state championship last year and only graduated 2 1/2 starters. JV has only lost 2 games in the last 2 seasons. We had 51 girls come out for 24 spots. Luckily, the freshmen unable to earn a spot on JV and varsity are put on a freshmen only team. That forces us to cut sophomores and juniors.
I dread the day of trouts. There’s usually one each year who questions why they were cut. I’m OK with that. It's a fair to question.
It’s the psycho mommy in the parking lot ranting like a mad 2 year old that I didn’t appreciate. The exchange of emails that followed was a bit more adult and appropriate.
Please shoot me if I ever become THAT parent. The one who just threw a tantrum in front of their child and sped out of the parking lot with tires squealing…all because said child did not earn a spot on the team. Great example on how to handle the disappointments in life.
SO, I have a question. If you were cut from a team and the coach offered you the opportunity to be the team manager AND to practice with said team to increase your skills, would you take it as an insult? Or would you see it for the opportunity it is…a great way to show the coaches you are dedicated to the sport and a willingness to learn from them. She literally told me that she plays better in game situations than in practice and it would be a waste of her time.
What is wrong with the youth of today? They feel so damn entitled. It really bothers me. How do I raise my kids NOT to develop that attitude?
I’m a drama Queen
Wonder where Princess gets it?
Should look in mirror
An unhappy mom
Throwing a temper tantrum
SO not attractive
In a shitty mood
Just being a complete bitch
Hair across my ass
Husband brought home crew
For some dinner and cocktails
Too much Sangria
Stayed up past midnight
Talking and almost fighting
What is my problem?!
Why is it so hard
to just relax and to breathe
here in New Hampshire?
If we move down there
would we bring with us the stress
could we simplify?
That is THE question
I ask myself every day
Would like to find out.
I was SO angry
Something finally just snapped
I have had enough
Running, juggling
Trying to meet all their needs
But what about mine?!
It sucks to be me
I can’t picture not going
It is so unfair
The Daddy is smart
Married him for a reason
Sometimes I forget
We devised a plan
What if we pay for tickets?
Just for the one way?
Had Jet Blue credit
We both completely forgot
Is this doable?
Hmm, it’s not so bad
I’M GOING TO ARUBA
Leaving Wednesday.
Not best solution
But I can live with the choice
Missing one more day
The other coaches
Will just have to step it up
And help with the cuts
Take some video
Of the girls while I’m not there
It will have to work.
Slowly smiling now.
I’M GOING TO ARUBA!
Ass hair is now gone.
Turning 35
together with family
might not seem so bad.
Congratulations
Taking antibiotics
Can come see you now
Tiny new baby
She's precious and beautiful
SO happy for you
Ten little fingers
All ten itty bitty toes
Beyond perfection
Doctors aren’t perfect
They gave you such a big scare
Thank God they were wrong
I love to hold her
My ovaries are glowing
Makes me want one more
Been there already
So contemplated a third
Had vasectomy
Hope we will adopt
Maybe in a few more years
OHHHH, that baby smell
Cough, cough. I’m SO sick.
It hurts even to whisper.
My throat is on fire.
Cannot wrap my brain
around the five seven five
for clever haiku.
Snip, snip it’s V-Day!
No, no. It’s not THAT V-Day.
That was yesterday.
Today THE Daddy
takes a big one for the team.
Family has spoken.
They have all agreed,
no more pregnancies for me.
Not so worth the risks.
If we do not feel
our family is complete,
may seek adoption
Frozen bag of peas,
a couple of days in bed.
I’ll be extra nice?
THE Daddy was good
after my two surgeries.
Repaying favor.
BUT evil in me
wants to give him a hard time
if being whiny.
My 2 c-sections…
you can’t possibly compare!
Self: try nice for once.
--
Related Posts: Contemplating a Third
THE Mommy
The Daddy was a trooper. He's a bit uncomfortable right now, but is planning to lay low for the next 24 hours or so. Tylenol, frozen peas and rest this weekend.
Oh, and FYI. I almost broke out into an uncontrollable giggling fit when the doctor started talking about side effects. Apparently one thing that can happen involves a blood clot...which he said causes a mass that will look like a third testicle. I'm sooo mature, I know. I'm sure he was very impressed. I felt like a kid with the giggles in church.
Snow, snow go away
Don’t come back another day
This winter so sucks
I know it’s not fair
For me to complain so much
I missed six whole weeks
Aruba, heaven
The two are the same to me
I want to go back
My body craves sun
My kids miss being naked
How about some fresh air
Eight layers of clothes
Aren’t warming my chilly bones
Perhaps a drink will?
