I am hoping that if I say this out loud, I will be able to make it go away.

“I am seriously thinking about having a third baby.”

I say “I” because THE Daddy has pretty much said that he is OK either way. He thinks he’s being supportive, but I see it as a deliberate way to avoid responsibility if the outcome of “our” decision is less than favorable. He was supposed to get snipped right after BamBam was born. It’s been over 2 years. If he was certain that he didn’t want more, wouldn’t he have gone through with the surgery already?

There are so many reasons that immediately come to mind why we should NOT have another:

1) We already have a girl AND a boy. They are healthy, happy, beautiful, intelligent children. We are completely blessed. Why would we want to tempt fate? F*&k with Karma?

2) Strike me down, say what you want, I know this sounds awful, but I HATED being pregnant. Sure, it had moments when it felt completely miraculous, like when we heard their hearts beat for the first time or when we could see their little bodies on their first ultrasounds. But, overall, I hated feeling like a host to a parasite that was stealing all of my energy and brain cells. I had morning sickness 24/7 for the first 14 weeks each time. I could barely cook without feeling nauseated…and I love to be in the kitchen. Just when the nausea passed, the heartburn kicked in. I remember wondering if I would ever enjoy eating again.  Well, I finally do.

3) I had problems with pre-term labor with BamBam. I ended up in bed for the last 9 weeks of the pregnancy and he decided enough was enough about 5 weeks before his due date. If it wasn’t for the gestational diabetes that I also was plagued with, I would have eaten a pint of Ben & Jerry’s a day out of sheer depression and probably would have blown up to look like Shamu. I typically lean towards natural, herbal, homeopathic remedies. During the pregnancy with BamBam, I had so many drugs pumped into me to stop the contractions, I lost track. I was in the hospital 12 times prior to his birth and "put to sleep" with morphine at least 4. Then there was that experimental cardiac drug that they gave me for the last 2 weeks…don’t get me started. The doctor literally laughed at me when I asked what the odds were of having complications with another pregnancy…his answer “50/50”…SO not helpful.

4) Due to said complications, we have several family members who would completely disown us if we actually took the plunge.

5) See my post about my friend struggling with the possibility that her third child may be born with Down Syndrome. That ties back into #1 for me and scares the crap out of me.

6) THE Daddy has been traveling so much for work lately. I’m not sure if I could handle being out-numbered 3 to 1. Worse, I’ve always been told NOT to have an uneven number of kids because one always feels left out. All of the “middle child” people that I know SO act like the “middle child”…SO that means I’d ultimately be outnumbered 4 to 1, not good.

My Case FOR having another:

1) Even after the nightmare pregnancy I experienced with BamBam, I always felt that our family wasn’t, well, I guess the word would be “complete”. I mentioned it to THE Daddy very early on, just after coming home from the hospital. He blew it off like I was enjoying some good post-c-section drugs. I probably was…but the feeling has never fully disappeared. I don’t feel like our family is complete yet, period. I’m not sure that I only want 2 kids. I’m not sure that I want Princess and BamBam to only have each other as siblings.

2) My BF always used to say that her ovaries were “glowing” when she saw a cute baby. Well, my ovaries still “glow” when I see a little baby. I suppose that could just be a side effect of having ovaries?

3) My babies are growing so fast and are so damn independent. I love the excitement and challenge that each new milestone brings, but I miss those little, helpless babies…the ones who really need their mommy. I know what you’re thinking, “OK, You want another creature to NEED you? Get a dog.” We have 2.

4) Princess has been campaigning HARD for a sister…and I’m pretty sure she’s old enough to know what she’d be getting into this time. Of course, I’ve explained that I couldn’t guarantee that it would be a sister and she could end up with 2 brothers…a concept a little above her head right now.

5) I still have names. We chose BamBam’s name rather easily because there was a death in the family and we conceived him right around the time of the funeral. In fact, the funeral was the only reason we were “sleeping” in the same location the time of conception. We racked our brains forever when we named Princess. Yet, I am now sitting on 2 names…a boy and a girl. I suppose that I could always buy a couple of goldfish to take care of that problem;)

6) I’m back in my pre-BamBam jeans…the “skinny ones”. I finally feel like my reflection is similar to what I think I look like. I’m no longer looking at a chubby stranger in the mirror.

7) I love working and especially love having a margarita or two on the weekends. Why would I want to give that up?!

OK, that’s 6 “against” and 7 “for”. Am I going crazy? (I hear my sister-in-law screaming a loud “HELL YES!”)

Is anyone else struggling with this as well? Help me out. Leave a comment.

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