THE Mommy
One of my closest friends is about 20 weeks pregnant with her third baby right now. They already have 2 girls, 6 and 7 years old who often play with Princess. I have a sister one year older than me and my friend is a year younger. Our parents all went to high school together, so we’ve literally known each other our entire lives. It’s amazing because our 3 girls look just like us playing together…and often fight the same way we did; as 3 girls will when one is often left out of the fun. Princess loves to play with them and often comes home campaigning for a sister.
My friend had a huge scare a few weeks ago. She was bleeding heavily and they determined that she had been carrying twins and lost one. She handled the news well and came to terms with the fact that there was probably something wrong with the baby and became focused on the healthy baby that remained. She was very excited for her next ultrasound because they were hoping to determine the sex of the baby. She had her whole family there and said they were joking around about boy or girl…when the woman performing the ultrasound “got serious”. They determined that they’re having a baby girl, but they are seriously concerned about finding a marker for Down Syndrome. They sent her for more tests today.
My heart is breaking for her. She looked so anxious and sad when we were together this weekend. She’s a great mother and a very successful person. She owns a Real Estate and Property Management company with her mother and they do extremely well. They just moved into a beautiful new house in a great neighborhood in a great school district. She’s married to someone she’s had a crush on since we were kids…and is finally over the fact that I kissed him first…when I was, like, 13 years old! They have the “perfect” life. It’s killing her that they can’t give her any more information yet. The doctor commented that they might need to “make a decision” about the pregnancy. She’s pretty sure that she wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy unless they could say with 100% certainty that the baby would have ZERO quality of life. But she’s also not prepared physically or emotionally to handle a child with special needs…at least not yet. I’m sure if need be, they’ll get themselves ready. They just need someone to tell them what exactly to prepare for and, so far, they haven’t been able to do that.
I don’t know what to do other than to tell her that I’m here if she needs anything. She’s been in my thoughts since she told me. It’s such a helpless feeling to have someone so close be going through something so difficult.
Do you have first-hand experience with Down Syndrome? Have you helped a friend though a similar situation? Please leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.
Reader Comments (2)
Our son's Down Syndrome was a complete surprise to my wife and I. A complete shock, and devastating in many ways. It's only been a month. But even with an impending heart surgery in a few weeks, Ian has stolen my heart. I'm proud to be his dad, and to call him my son. If it is indeed DS, they will not be alone. Hope that helps a little. Tom
Although I don't have any friends with a DS child I have some close friends and family with autism and other challenges. It is a shame about losing one of the twins...that is very difficult. We went through a miscarriage on what was to be our fourth child. It is very tough on the guys too although they don't show it...trust me.