I loathe being an adult in times like these.  The inner 12 year old in me really wants one of these to push:

Yep, it's an official Do Over button.  Cool, huh?

I believe in the power of group intention.  We have sent his resume to just about everyone in our professional networks.  A lot of people are on the look-out for a position for him.  

I really want the chance to go back 9 months and do it all over.  I know, I know.  It's not possible.  But I'll take the next best thing and really need your help.

Do me a favor and push it for me.

Yes.  Go ahead.  Touch your screen.  Push the Do Over button.

[If you feel compelled, leave me a comment to let me know you pushed it - but that's more for my ego and not at all mandatory.]

Thanks.

I'll let you know how it works out.

Max got all excited and yelled out, "Mommy, LOOK they have a book about diarrhea!!!"

I couldn't help but look.  He's 4.  I wondered what kind of picture would be on the cover a book that would make him think it was about diarrhea - fortheloveofGod.  I didn't want to look, but it's like driving by an accident on the highway...you just can't help it.

So, I glanced over at the bookshelf but didn't see what in God's name he could've been looking it.

He got annoyed with me, "RIGHT THERE, Mommy.  See?!  It says D-I-A-R-Y.  That spells diarrhea."

I think I proved right then and there that one cannot die laughing.  Because if you could, I totally would have.

Diary.  Diarrhea.

Curse you, WordWorld for making my 4 year old such a good reader.

At least he'll be staying away from his older sister's diary.  Wouldn't want to touch that diarrhea, lol.

Yep, this is my daughter.  She's SEVEN.  And I have NO idea where that voice came from.  I couldn't carry a tune if my life depended on it.  I love to watch her onstage.  This clip is classic because you can literally hear the crowd say "Awwww" when she is introduced...like "Awww....how cute, a little girl singing a little girl version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

After she starts singing, you can hear a pin drop in the audience.  It happens every time...and totally gives me chills.

The local paper said:

Seven-year-old...surprised crowds with her mature performance of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"

She is WAY cooler than I'll ever be;)

Poor Chester.  He's my 95 pound Australian Shepherd.  If you know anything about Australian Shepherds, you know that they typically max out at 45ish pounds.  He looks like he was mixed with a St. Bernard - and is incredibly cute and sweet, so we love him dearly.

Chester is never satisfied with his meals.  Never.  We know we're feeding him the right amount because we are maintaining his weight.  He isn't gaining or losing.  He's getting enough food, no doubt.

The other day, he could smell bacon cooking after he ate his typical breakfast.  He just sat there and sulked quietly hoping for more food.

I dare you.  Look at that sweet face and NOT give him a piece of bacon.  Nay.  I double dog dare you.

So...

Thank you very much to those of you who actually clicked over to The Softball Blog to check out the design for me.  I appreciate your input.

Did you notice something while you were over there?  Like, the fact that there's a picture of me, but I introduce myself as Coach Kim.

Ahem.  Oops.  About that.

Yeah, so.  Um.  After almost 3 years of blogging, I guess the cat is out of the bag...

My real name isn't Ashlie.  It's Kim.

I was extremely paranoid about security when I first started blogging.  For the first year, I referred to myself as THE Mommy.  Then I got to know you all and realized that THE Mommy was completely impersonal.  I wasn't ready to share my REAL name yet, so I went with Ashlie.

Wanna know how I came up with Ashlie?

Well, when I was a senior in college I rented a mini-van with a bunch of my sorority sisters and drove from NH to Florida for spring break.  I kid you not.  True story.

We got 2 speeding tickets before leaving New England.  About halfway through the very looooooong state of NC, we decided to change our names for the rest of the trip.  Stupid, college girl thing.  But it was kinda fun - and funny at times over the course of the week.  

Anyhow.  My name was Ashlie.  She had a LOT of fun on spring break and probably did a few things that Kim was too prissy to do.  Ahem.

So when I had to pick an alter ego for Mommycosm, it felt natural to pick Ashlie.

Voila.

Yes.  Kim is my real name.  But I still think that Ashlie should be in charge of Mommycosm.  She has more courage.  She speaks more freely.  She's just WAY more fun to have around.

Thoughts?

This little PhotoFunia break was inspired by Heather at CMGD.

If you have a little girl in your life between the ages of 6-12, go check out my current giveaway.

Couldn't sleep, so I watched the sun rise today.  It was accidental, really.  The dogs saw me restless in bed and started doing the potty dance, so I got up to let them out.  And there it was...big, bright and stunning.

I stood there in awe of its greatness.  I tried to soak in some of its energy.  Ahhhh...another day begins.

Then reality crashed down and I sighed.  Because this day brings more uncertainty than the day before.  I need to keep reminding myself that uncertainty isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Life is an adventure and if we have faith, we will be led down the right path.  Very zen, but for the most part I believe it.

The reason for such profound thoughts before 7am on a Saturday?  A Saturday when my kids are away on a sleepover and I could've slept until noon without interruption.  But for some reason couldn't.  AHEM.

You see, HR 4213 has not seen much progress.  Now that I understand the process a bit more, I know that it will not pass in time to save my family.  At least I am less ignorant, lol.

Hindsight might show us that going All In wasn't the best decision.  We had a plan and stuck to it, for the most part.  We tried to live by the stricter budget.  With the exception of going a little overboard at Christmas, we did OK.

What we didn't plan out well was the exit strategy if January 1st rolled around and it didn't work out.  We were SO sure it would work out.  We're still sure that the company will thrive eventually and our investment piece will be worthwhile.  That's what makes this all so hard to swallow.

It's the job with a paying salary piece that probably isn't going to work out...we simply cannot afford to go without a paycheck for any length of time.  Let the job search begin.  The problem is...we have NO idea where a job search is going to take us...or if it can even save us in time.

Before you get all excited about our original Plan B...I talked about Aruba being Plan B.  It very well could be.  My husband applied for working papers over a year ago.  Unfortunately, when the government changed hands this fall, all paperwork was put on hold.  He has his resume out there, hoping someone will sponsor him.  No bites yet.

SO, plan B is not a viable option...right now.  Never really came up with a Plan C.

We're at this crazy crossroads of uncertainty.  It's familiar and new all at the same time.  Familiar because we survived 6 months in the past with him doing contract work until a salaried position was offered.  He has a Master's degree and is intelligent and resourceful.

New because the economy is worse than 2 years ago when he was unemployed.  More qualified people are out of work.  He's going to have a harder time because he is overqualified for many positions.  He's willing to take a step back in order to support the family...but not sure if companies will be willing to hire someone with almost TOO much experience.  Crazy.

I'm trying to have faith that this will all work out.  I'm practically shouting Show us what we're supposed to be doing...please!  

Maybe the answer will present itself in time.  Until then, I'm living one day at a time in the Land of Uncertainty.  For the record, this new Land is nowhere near as wonderful as Aruba.  Just so you know.

Big news.

Wait for it...

I decided to create a softball blog to share my favorite drills...and just talk about coaching and softball in general.  I wouldn't want to bore you over here at Mommycosm with that aspect of my life.

I got really, really creative one day a while back and purchased the domain called The Softball Blog.  I know.  I'm a creative genius.  Be jealous.  It's OK.

I've spent time creating a banner and template.  Still have some work to do on the sidebars.  No loss for content going forward.  Hoping to get some of you, my readers and online friends, to check it out and let me know what you think.  You know, from a design standpoint.  Because you are the most saavy web people I know.

Please?

Here's the link: The Softball Blog

Have I told you how beautiful you look today?  [SO not above flattery]

You know, I'm pretty sure this topic was covered at some point during my formal education.  I can't imagine my high school skipped American Politics as a subject.  Could I have gotten through 4 years of college without the topic coming up?  Not sure.

There just hasn't been a NEED for me to understand the process in the *ahem* 20ish years since then, so I haven't bothered taking the time to understand it.

But now?

There is a bill out there that will have a large impact on my family.  [understatement]

It's HR 4213, aka The Tax Extenders Act.  First it was part of this whole jobs bill that is in headlines.  Then it wasn't.  Now it is again, I think.

I don't understand the process and that frustrates me.  It was supposed to be renewed before it expired on January 1, 2010.  

A little catch up if you're new around here:  I talked about going ALL IN back in June.  My husband had just taken a position as VP of Ops in a biofuel business.  Not just that, but we invested in the business.  It was in start up mode at the time and we budgeted out a plan for him to work for pennies until the end of the year.  

So, we've been scraping and sacrificing since June, coincidentally with January 1, 2010 being the supposed light at the end of our tunnel.

Just so you know, at the time, we did not set our own family finance goals based on this business tax credit from the government.  I had a vague knowledge that it existed and it was helpful to the cash flow of the business.  If the business did well, my husband would actually collect a decent salary again.  And we'd have health insurance better than paying through the nose for COBRA every month.  In other words, we would be allowed to live without huge changes in our lifestyle.  You know, like we'd be able to keep paying our mortgage on our house.  Small things.

He set goals and met them.  The company was doing well. 

In December, when the government sat on their hands and focused on other things, this little bill was pushed aside.  At this point, no one is sure if/when it will pass.  The holding pattern is practically KILLING the biofuel industry.  I can't even tell online if it is still part of the jobs bill currently on the table.

Needless to say, our ability to breathe again in 2010 did not come to be.  In fact, the light at the end of my tunnel turned out to be an oncoming train.

Can someone tell me...what the heck is a filabuster and who the heck invented it anyway?!  An angry 10 year old?!

I'm actually watching C-SPAN this week, people.  C-SPAN.  It's almost as riveting to me as LOST.  You know, minus the whole smoke monster and alternate universe parts.  Although I have wished that the smoke monster would come and eat up a few politicians on my screen.

If anyone is able to give me the 101, please do.  Knowledge is power.  I am feeling very powerless about this...and when I feel powerless I've been told I give off a vibe that looks somewhat like this:

Just the vibe, people.  I'm not really walking around like this.  Although I wish my hair looked like that all the time.  Someone dried it for me with a diffuser and it actually stayed curly instead of kinda curly with a lot of frizz.  Which is such a tease.  Because I absolutely cannot afford to buy my own diffuser right now.