THE Mommy
I wanted to update you on my previous post about my friend, the one who is pregnant with her third baby. Quick recap: she was having twins and lost one, then found out that the remaining baby had a marker for Down Syndrome. Well, we hung out last night and I am so happy to report that they went through a TON of tests and determined that the baby girl is 100% healthy and does not have Down Syndrome. What a relief!
I’m very concerned about the way her doctor handled the situation. The ultrasound tech was great and kept everything in perspective. She stressed that it was only a marker and they could do further tests to confirm or deny the results. She only mentioned Down Syndrome. She used the word “concerned” but said she was not “worried” yet. Then, the doctor came in and started talking about other things beyond Down Syndrome and stressed mental retardation, quality of life and having to make decisions about the pregnancy. My friend was about 20 weeks pregnant. She had just lost one of the babies. Her head was still spinning about the “marker” and this doctor was talking to her about terminating the pregnancy…before doing more tests even, unbelievable.
My friend couldn’t remember which doctor in the practice it was because it was the first time she met her. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know which doctor it was. It’s the same practice that I went to when pregnant with BamBam. Everyone else there was wonderful, but there was one doctor who had the worst bedside manner. We had to keep THE Daddy away from her by the end because, woman or not, he was about ready to “take it outside”.
The bottom line is that after a couple of horrible weeks, my friend is relieved and happy. The stupid doctor caused much more stress than was necessary. The only thing it could have been was Down Syndrome…and after researching it, she felt confident that she could handle a Down baby. The additional tests included an amnio, which in itself could have caused a miscarriage…to a perfectly healthy baby.
I now have one less reason NOT to have a third baby, crap. She was my 5th reason why we shouldn’t from yesterday’s post. I can tell you that if we do go for it, we probably wouldn’t go back to that practice…I would definitely feel the urge to bitch slap that doctor and that’s probably not a good thing when you’re at their mercy.
Have any stories about horrible bedside manner? Please share, leave a comment.
Reader Comments (3)
Horrible bedside manner...hmmmm. Yeah, I got one. My oldest daughter, when she was one broke her foot. Her Aunt was carrying her and fell and this is what caused the injury...anyways, we went to the ER and had to have x-rays taken of the wounded limb. The horrid tech was strapping my daughters hurt foot down in such a way that she was screaming so loud my wife (pregnant and unable to go in the x-ray room) heard her down the hall. The stupid insensitive tech persisted mangling her until I stepped in and told her to her hands off of her. Almost seven years ago and I remember it vividly. As for that Dr., wtf, go to another practice already. That Dr. is a moron and a bad Dr. Stress can cause complications in any pregnancy, she could of caused a second miscarriage. That is when I would of gone ape shit on her. Go elsewhere, and do it now...really.
I thought my midwife had a poor bedside manner. I chose her because I thought midwives were open to lots of ideas and were less abrasive than doctors. Well...that's not necessarily true. My midwife would never give me a straight answer when I asked her a direct question...it was always "it's up to you". I wanted a strong recommendation...afterall she was the one who had delivered 400 babies. Then at the end of my pregnancy (when I started having complications) she started in on me like I was some sort of extremist...giving me all sorts of scary forms and whatnot, rather than just explaining the situation to me.
I think that a healthcare professional should sit down with you and weigh the options. I don't believe in sugar coating, but you can at least acknowledge that the patient has feelings. Grr things like this make me mad!
PS. Thanks for the comment. So nice to meet other vaccine-free moms!
When I was pregnant with my son my 20 week ultrasound showed an echogenic focus. (I may have spelled that wrong) which I was told was a marker for downs. My doctors were extremely vague though and said not to worry but of course I started looking on the net and got completely freaked out so I went for some other blood test and if that showed positive then we would have done the amnio but luckily it was negative. Nicholas is happy and healthy today at 15 months!