Entries from October 14, 2007 - October 20, 2007
For a while, my Friday posts were labeled “TGIF”. I would either list reasons why I was glad the week was over, or share a story about something for which I was thankful.
Today, I am very thankful that everyone in my family is healthy. I am also thankful that I was in a position to make a difference in someone's life...and can actually witness the results. It's a humbling gift to be given.
We received very good news today. I mentioned in the 10 Random Facts About TheMommy post that I recently donated peripheral blood stem cells to a 21 year old woman with leukemia. I promise I will follow up with a more detailed post sometime soon. It was an incredible experience on so many different levels.
My donor coordinator from Dana Farber just emailed me to let me know that the transplant was successful. The woman is doing well and proceeding as expected. Even better, she was discharged from the hospital awhile ago.
I’ve never met this woman. I don’t even know where in the world she lives. Yet, we have this incredible connection now. I think about her and wonder if she is doing OK. I also think about what I was doing with my life at 21 years of age and it’s almost embarrassing because it definitely didn’t involve a life or death struggle…unless you count trying to find my way back to my apartment on campus in the middle of the night after having a few too many…while wearing a toga…and high heels.
Wow, it still completely amazes me that someone out there is considered my “match”. Since I don’t know her name, I’ll refer to her as “MM”.
There is a long list of reasons why we are not allowed to know each other yet, but if we both consent after a year, we could meet. I’m not sure if she will be game. I read a patient’s blog somewhere that said that receiving someone else’s stem cells into her body was like someone spitting in your coke and you being forced to drink it in order to live. She obviously had no interest in meeting her donor. Hopefully, MM doesn’t feel this way, although I would respect her feelings if she does. I would love to meet her and give her a huge hug.
I have coached high school softball for 6 years…some of my girls are now 21. I would love to tell MM that it was the first day of softball season the very day I donated blood to see if I was beyond just a tissue match for her. They didn’t quite prep me as to how much blood they would be taking, or more likely I didn't entirely read the letter they sent. It was 16 vials of blood, ouch! I went straight to practice and was more than a little dizzy. As I went through the process, my girls watched with curiosity and compassion. It inspired them to want to register to donate when they turn 18. I coach at a private, Catholic high school and there were many prayers said on MM’s behalf. If I meet her, I would tell her about the day that I donated the stem cells. While I was hooked up to an aphaeresis machine for 7 hours, my team was winning their preliminary game in the state tournament. I was still weak and had to be brought down to the field in a golf cart for the first few practices afterwards. They went on to win the State Championship for the first time in the history of my school. That experience was a defining one in my life and ranks right up with for me with my wedding day and the births of both of my children.
How I got involved:
I was doing research for work in January. I stumbled across information on how to register with the National Marrow Donor Program. I actually saw a blog post about a woman needing to find a match. She resembled me. It was her big blue eyes caught my attention. Her friends had raised money to cover the $52 fee for a tissue-typing kit. They provided a link to sign up online. The kit was mailed to my house and I swabbed the inside of my mouth with a q-tip and sent back the kit. I was contacted shortly thereafter because I was considered a tissue match for someone (Not the woman whose story inspired me to sign up...unfortunately, she never found a match and passed away). I was sent for blood work and deemed a true match. I had to go for a complete physical and was cleared to donate just a couple of weeks later. From the time I filled out the form online to the time of donation, only 5 months passed. According to the doctors, nurses and anyone else I encountered during the process, that’s pretty much unheard of. There are 10 million donors on the registry. According to the NMDP, "On any given day, more than 6,000 men, women and children are searching for a life-saving donor" and I was immediately a match for someone in urgent need.
If you’d like more information before I get around to another post about the process itself, feel free to leave me a comment or email me at: themommy@mommycosm.com.
Have a great weekend!
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I wanted to update you on my previous post about my friend, the one who is pregnant with her third baby. Quick recap: she was having twins and lost one, then found out that the remaining baby had a marker for Down Syndrome. Well, we hung out last night and I am so happy to report that they went through a TON of tests and determined that the baby girl is 100% healthy and does not have Down Syndrome. What a relief!
I’m very concerned about the way her doctor handled the situation. The ultrasound tech was great and kept everything in perspective. She stressed that it was only a marker and they could do further tests to confirm or deny the results. She only mentioned Down Syndrome. She used the word “concerned” but said she was not “worried” yet. Then, the doctor came in and started talking about other things beyond Down Syndrome and stressed mental retardation, quality of life and having to make decisions about the pregnancy. My friend was about 20 weeks pregnant. She had just lost one of the babies. Her head was still spinning about the “marker” and this doctor was talking to her about terminating the pregnancy…before doing more tests even, unbelievable.
My friend couldn’t remember which doctor in the practice it was because it was the first time she met her. I have a sneaking suspicion that I know which doctor it was. It’s the same practice that I went to when pregnant with BamBam. Everyone else there was wonderful, but there was one doctor who had the worst bedside manner. We had to keep THE Daddy away from her by the end because, woman or not, he was about ready to “take it outside”.
The bottom line is that after a couple of horrible weeks, my friend is relieved and happy. The stupid doctor caused much more stress than was necessary. The only thing it could have been was Down Syndrome…and after researching it, she felt confident that she could handle a Down baby. The additional tests included an amnio, which in itself could have caused a miscarriage…to a perfectly healthy baby.
I now have one less reason NOT to have a third baby, crap. She was my 5th reason why we shouldn’t from yesterday’s post. I can tell you that if we do go for it, we probably wouldn’t go back to that practice…I would definitely feel the urge to bitch slap that doctor and that’s probably not a good thing when you’re at their mercy.
Have any stories about horrible bedside manner? Please share, leave a comment.
I am hoping that if I say this out loud, I will be able to make it go away.
“I am seriously thinking about having a third baby.”
I say “I” because THE Daddy has pretty much said that he is OK either way. He thinks he’s being supportive, but I see it as a deliberate way to avoid responsibility if the outcome of “our” decision is less than favorable. He was supposed to get snipped right after BamBam was born. It’s been over 2 years. If he was certain that he didn’t want more, wouldn’t he have gone through with the surgery already?
There are so many reasons that immediately come to mind why we should NOT have another:
1) We already have a girl AND a boy. They are healthy, happy, beautiful, intelligent children. We are completely blessed. Why would we want to tempt fate? F*&k with Karma?
2) Strike me down, say what you want, I know this sounds awful, but I HATED being pregnant. Sure, it had moments when it felt completely miraculous, like when we heard their hearts beat for the first time or when we could see their little bodies on their first ultrasounds. But, overall, I hated feeling like a host to a parasite that was stealing all of my energy and brain cells. I had morning sickness 24/7 for the first 14 weeks each time. I could barely cook without feeling nauseated…and I love to be in the kitchen. Just when the nausea passed, the heartburn kicked in. I remember wondering if I would ever enjoy eating again. Well, I finally do.
3) I had problems with pre-term labor with BamBam. I ended up in bed for the last 9 weeks of the pregnancy and he decided enough was enough about 5 weeks before his due date. If it wasn’t for the gestational diabetes that I also was plagued with, I would have eaten a pint of Ben & Jerry’s a day out of sheer depression and probably would have blown up to look like Shamu. I typically lean towards natural, herbal, homeopathic remedies. During the pregnancy with BamBam, I had so many drugs pumped into me to stop the contractions, I lost track. I was in the hospital 12 times prior to his birth and "put to sleep" with morphine at least 4. Then there was that experimental cardiac drug that they gave me for the last 2 weeks…don’t get me started. The doctor literally laughed at me when I asked what the odds were of having complications with another pregnancy…his answer “50/50”…SO not helpful.
4) Due to said complications, we have several family members who would completely disown us if we actually took the plunge.
5) See my post about my friend struggling with the possibility that her third child may be born with Down Syndrome. That ties back into #1 for me and scares the crap out of me.
6) THE Daddy has been traveling so much for work lately. I’m not sure if I could handle being out-numbered 3 to 1. Worse, I’ve always been told NOT to have an uneven number of kids because one always feels left out. All of the “middle child” people that I know SO act like the “middle child”…SO that means I’d ultimately be outnumbered 4 to 1, not good.
My Case FOR having another:
1) Even after the nightmare pregnancy I experienced with BamBam, I always felt that our family wasn’t, well, I guess the word would be “complete”. I mentioned it to THE Daddy very early on, just after coming home from the hospital. He blew it off like I was enjoying some good post-c-section drugs. I probably was…but the feeling has never fully disappeared. I don’t feel like our family is complete yet, period. I’m not sure that I only want 2 kids. I’m not sure that I want Princess and BamBam to only have each other as siblings.
2) My BF always used to say that her ovaries were “glowing” when she saw a cute baby. Well, my ovaries still “glow” when I see a little baby. I suppose that could just be a side effect of having ovaries?
3) My babies are growing so fast and are so damn independent. I love the excitement and challenge that each new milestone brings, but I miss those little, helpless babies…the ones who really need their mommy. I know what you’re thinking, “OK, You want another creature to NEED you? Get a dog.” We have 2.
4) Princess has been campaigning HARD for a sister…and I’m pretty sure she’s old enough to know what she’d be getting into this time. Of course, I’ve explained that I couldn’t guarantee that it would be a sister and she could end up with 2 brothers…a concept a little above her head right now.
5) I still have names. We chose BamBam’s name rather easily because there was a death in the family and we conceived him right around the time of the funeral. In fact, the funeral was the only reason we were “sleeping” in the same location the time of conception. We racked our brains forever when we named Princess. Yet, I am now sitting on 2 names…a boy and a girl. I suppose that I could always buy a couple of goldfish to take care of that problem;)
6) I’m back in my pre-BamBam jeans…the “skinny ones”. I finally feel like my reflection is similar to what I think I look like. I’m no longer looking at a chubby stranger in the mirror.
7) I love working and especially love having a margarita or two on the weekends. Why would I want to give that up?!
OK, that’s 6 “against” and 7 “for”. Am I going crazy? (I hear my sister-in-law screaming a loud “HELL YES!”)
Is anyone else struggling with this as well? Help me out. Leave a comment.
I've come across a number of interesting blogs lately. I decided to put together a "blogroll" to show you which have made it to my RSS Reader. Check out THE Mommy's Blogroll here. You can also find it on the sidebar.
There are a ton of parenting blogs out there. The mommy and daddy bloggers who have caught and kept my attention:
1) update regularly...daily or at least a few times a week
2) make me laugh
3) are REAL...none of those happy, sappy, lying "parenthood is easy" types
4) Can't really say this without offending some people...it's OK to have faith and express it every now and again, c'mon I'm not THAT MUCH of a heathen, but if your tagline on your site is a bible verse, we're probably not going to be BBBs (best blogging buddies)
5) make me laugh OUT LOUD
If you would like for me to check out your blog to possibly add to my list, please leave me a comment with a link to your site.
Yesterday was the first half-day for Princess at her kindergarten. I mentioned before that we were struggling with the half or full day option. She’s so ready to be at school full-days, but we were unhappy about the lack of curriculum in the afternoons. We decided to give her a little of each and dropped her down to half days on Mondays and Fridays. Tuition was reduced $475, score!
My morning went a little smoother. I was able to get the kids ready without having to pack her a lunch. It saved me about 10 precious minutes. We actually got our “good morning” call into THE Daddy before getting into the car. I hate having to pass off my cell phone and translate “BamBam Speak” via speaker phone while trying to drive.
I was a little worried that Princess would be upset when she had to leave, but it was quite the opposite. I’m not sure who was more excited when 11:45 rolled around! I was able to get in 3 hours of work while she was there for the morning. Knowing that I didn’t have all day really forced me to focus and get things done. I was greeted with a big hug and huge smiles. She was tickled pink to leave and spend the afternoon running errands with Mommy.
We got to spend some quality “girl” time together without THE Daddy or BamBam, a rarity these days. Since she had my undivided attention, I was able to throw in a little learning along the way. We went to Friendly’s for lunch and worked on a connect-the-dots picture while waiting, all the way up to the number 40. We went grocery shopping where we talked about words and numbers. We came home and she was able to color and spell words for a bit before we had to head back out to pick up BamBam.
I’m not 100% on the half-day bandwagon. Even though they aren’t teaching new concepts in the afternoons, I still think she benefits from being there. She’ll be better prepared for first grade. Also, she loves playing in the “centers” in the afternoons at school and is looking forward to being there all day today. I think the 2 half-days will be something that we both look forward to.
Does your school district have full-day kindergarten? Is it really a full-day program, or mixed in with half-day students? I'm curious to know what other parents are doing...especially if you only have half-day in your town and you work. Please leave a comment.
OK, even if you hate football and don’t know who “Belichick” is, you can still appreciate the battle and take a side.
I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that THE Daddy had 1st row seats when the Pats destroyed played San Diego. I paid Karma forward and told him to take his father. They had a great time and it was a perfect father/son bonding event. I’m not too bitter anymore that I didn’t get to go.
My gripe is this. As a consolation prize for being such a great wife and not being able to go, THE Daddy bought me this Belichick hooded sweatshirt. This was better than buying me chocolate or flowers. I have coveted that exact sweatshirt for a couple of seasons now, but couldn’t see spending the $74.95 for it. Come on, $74.95…it’s just a hooded sweatshirt. After all, it has no super powers…like the ability to clean itself. There are many things I’d rather spend $74.95 on…like groceries or filling my gas tank 1.5 times.
SO, he brings the sweatshirt home and I am very excited. I try it on and it is way too big. No big deal, we call and they tell us how to exchange it without having to drive 2 hours to the stadium. I’m bummed that I don’t get to wear it for a bit. BUT then I notice…wait…there are 2 sweatshirts in the bag. He went and bought himself a sweatshirt too! Bastard. If you’re buying someone a consolation prize, rules of etiquette (at least in my world) dictate that you aren’t allowed to buy yourself one as well!
Ever since then, we’ve been battling about who gets to wear the sweatshirt on game day. It’s bad enough that I like to wear the sweatshirt on Sundays…that’s a bit hokey, I know. BUT, I will NOT be one of “those” couples…you know them...the ones who dress alike and sit on the same side of the table even when it's just the 2 of them...eww! Personally, I think I should get first dibs on wearing the shirt. I am the one, after all, who had to sit at home to watch the game while he was IN THE 1st ROW!
Am I being unreasonable about this? Help me out here.
Oh, the picture is from the Pats Pro shop. Since I stole their picture, I’ll provide the link:
Check out the Pats Pro Shop to purchase a Belichick sweatshirt.
THE Mommy
Apparently, people are having problems posting comments to this post. I've contacted SquareSpace to see if they can figure it out. Please send me an email at: themommy@mommycosm.com if you would like to comment and I will make sure it gets up.
Here's a comment from Jim at BusyDad:
"Ouch! As much as I am biased toward my team (hus-bands! hus-bands!) in times of conflict. Buying 2 sweatshirts didn't just cancel a good deed, he lost yardage. Let me John Madden this one for you...
X(sweatshirt) ---------> :D
XX ------> >:(
Analysis: going with the single sweatshirt down the middle would have opened up your defenses (how thoughtful! you got to see the game once but I get to wear this forever! You rock!). Playing double sweatshirt coverage only alerted your defenses (big deal now we both have one. How "status quo" of you...). And that's how I see it from the box."
