Mom crams people in
never enough room to sit
no one says thank you

Why is it so hard
To get everyone to say
Why they are thankful

Why does my sister
Forget that we are now friends
Unlike growing up

Why does she feel like
She needs to belittle me
And act like a douche

I am grown up now
I have two sweet little kids
I love my husband

Why does Thanksgiving
Undo the last thirty years
Of us growing up

Thank God for white wine
And Black Friday sales online
early on Thursday

Turkey Hangover
Got to clean my house today
To plan a party

My sister eloped
Her third marriage and my gift
is a party here

I will bite my tongue
I AM so happy for them
Even if she SUCKS
--

Ah, family.

My sister and I did not get along for about the first 29 years of my life. We really, truly did not like each other. She was the golden child. I was the black sheep. My dad literally called her Princess and me, Madonna. She could do no wrong. My independence, stubbornness and insistence on all things being fair in life completely baffled them. I would store up on ammunition to use against her during moments when my parents would say you should be more like your sister! To which my response could be at least my boyfriend doesn’t drive around with a mattress in the back of his truck! when she was just 16. I imagine that didn’t help out our relationship. But neither did her stealing a boyfriend from me a couple of years later.

I could air more dirty laundry, but I won’t. The playing fields were leveled the day my little Princess was born. (Yes, I just felt the irony of her nickname, ouch!) Actually, I think the ground began shifting at my wedding. It was almost as if she realized that I wasn’t a threat to her anymore. I’m not sure why she suddenly figured out how much she was missing out by not sharing her life with her COOL little sister. I’ve always been willing to dip my toes in the water…only to have them get bit off one by one. I had learned to wear Kevlar socks around her. I guess I forgot to wear them to Thanksgiving this year. More like I retired them because I didn’t think I’d need them anymore. Apparently, being around the rest of the family made her declare “open game” on me…again.

My husband is a saint. Usually I’m the one who has to remind him to play nice with my family. When we started dating, he used to try to be my knight in shining armor. He’d try to defend my honor when someone (usually my sister or my mother) wronged me. I so appreciated his efforts, but warned him early on that you can’t rationalize with irrational people. You can’t right wrongs in the Land of Denial. Just bite your tongue and let it be. Accept my family for who they are. Don’t expect an ounce more and you won’t be disappointed.

Funny, when I finally stopped biting my bleeding tongue in the car on the way out, he used those same words to calm me down.

Did you survive Thanksgiving unscathed? If so, do tell how you managed. If not, I’d love to hear how awful other families can be to each other…hopefully it’ll make mine seem a little less crazy!